Archive for UTI

“Peeus Waiticus” aka Waiting to Pee

A common health condition called “Peeus Waiticus” is on our Giggle On!™ Soap Box today.

When translated from pig-Latin, “Peeus Waiticus” means Waiting to Pee. WTP is a serious problem affecting both males and females.

WTP has been known to cause kidney infections, urinary tract infections & stomach aches. WTP can also lead to embarrassment and wet bottoms.

Why do so many of us wait until it feels like our bladder is going to explode before hitting the bathroom?

Why waste time squeezing our legs together, rocking back and forth, shaking, holding our hoo-ha area, dancing around and jumping from leg to leg just to stop ourselves from having an accident when the easy remedy is to simply head to the Loo?              Why?         W-h-y?            WHY?

I hypothesize that some people WTP because they enjoy the attention they receive from others while engaged in a practice the ancient Romans called, Trepudio Plenum Vesicum or Dance of the Full Bladder*. In modern society we simply call this the Pee Pee Dance.

Giggle On!™ conducted a Pee Poll to find out why people wait to pee.

2% said:

We wait to pee because we are too lazy = abbreviation, TLTP.

4% said:

We are afraid to pee because we believe snakes, alligators and bugs will climb up out of the potty and bite our ass = abbreviation, ATP.

6% said:

We can’t pee because we are in the middle of having sex = abbreviation, WCP.

7.43% said:

We would love to pee, but our bodily plumbing is seriously out of whack = abbreviation, WLTP.

27% said:

We wait to pee because we are driving in the car, stuck on a bus, grossed out about public toilet seats, paranoid that the lock on the bathroom stall won’t hold or afraid someone might see us peeing = abbreviation, WTP.

But wait, there’s more!

A Whopping 43.57% said:

We are too busy to pee because we are reading email, making phone calls, driving the car, writing in our blogs, watching tv, taking out the trash, caring for the kids, walking the dog or folding laundry = abbreviation, TBTP.

I admit I suffer from this dangerous and stupid behavioral affliction too. I gave myself a nasty UTI from WTP. WTF Christa? Pee girl, just pee!

Hell, I have to pee right now but I’m still tapping away at the key pad because the importance of expressing this subject matter is too great for me to wait. I fear by the time I come back from the potty I may have lost a stream of consciousness (pun intended) and my deep wisdom about Peeus Waiticus might be lost forever!

And I sit and rock back and forth, back and forth…… ooooh, ouch…hold that thought, I’ll be right back.

*insert Jeopardy think music *

Ok, I’m back. Ahhhhhhhh, sweet baby Jesus, that’s soooooooooo much better.

In closing my fellow Gigglers, for the love of God and the health of your body temple, DO NOT succumb to WTP, TLTP, TBTP, ATP or WCP because you might get a UTI!

For those who suffer from WLTP, please see your physician immediately.

Bottom line: When nature calls – Giggle On advises you to ANSWER!

Cheers to your urinary tract health!

Giggle Girl Giggling OUT!

*Source: My Dad

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