When a Loss becomes a Gain

Relief and realizations

Thursday was my Godsmack anniversary date.

By all rights, it was harder getting though the 8th than getting through 7th (the day Jim died).

I breathed a ginormous sigh of relief when the clock finally struck 12:01 a.m., October the 9th.

I wasn’t expecting to experience such a range of feelings this week.

My emotional roller coaster ride stemmed more from the realization that I came so close to giving up than any actual sadness relating to Jim’s suicide. He’s gone. It is still sad but it isn’t the shocker it once was.

There are no coincidences!

Last year I signed up to receive messages from a site called DailyOm.

The universe (and the folks at DailyOm) must have known what was going on in my world because they sent me a blog post called “Emptiness Becomes Openness. Sometimes a Loss Can Be a Gain“.

The message was delivered right to my in-box on October 8th!!!



When we lose anything that we cherish, the sense of emptiness we are left behind with can be overwhelming. A space that was filled, whether in our lives or our hearts, is now a void, and the feelings of pain, loss, and separation can sometimes be difficult to bear.

While it is always important to honor what we’ve lost, sometimes a loss can also represent a chance for a new beginning.

When we are ready, the void left by a relationship, a job, or a dream can then be viewed as open space that can be filled with something new: new experiences, new knowledge, new job opportunities, new dreams, new people, and new ways to grow.

In response to a message I left on the DailyOm forum about this article, a warm soul named Michael left me a kind and supportive message. He wrote:

Just a note to let you know that creating a website for others to have a resource to live, laugh and move forward is a beautiful gain. A gain for you, and for many that can benefit from your offering. In this way your friend and your love for him is most beautifully honored.

My brother committed suicide several years ago. I’m now writing a play dealing with that loss. I’ve experienced resources and blessings pertaining to this event in my life. Just wanted to acknowledge you and say thanks.

The loss of Jim’s life and the pain I felt transmuted into a beautiful gain. It didn’t happen overnight or course, but my heart was open and I had hope!

I now have a reason to get up every morning and get my Giggle On!

I live now as an Ambassador for Life.

I live to pay kindnesses forward!

I live to tell others: Don’t Give Up!

Giggle On!


How have YOU turned a loss in your life into a gain?


Related posts:

Suicide: Part 1 – Facts & Warning Signs

How to Help Suicidal People

Suicide Survivor’s Guilt

Middle-Aged Women Drive Suicide Rise

Walk to beat depression and suicide

Wilmington’s Out of the Darkness Walk, photo essay

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  1. Thanks for your inspiring message and a reminder that life is good. I also believe that we can always find a positive from anything negative that we deal with in our lives. Death is difficult under any circumstances. I admire your strength and for doing something so meaningful to help other people and families dealing with loss.

  2. Christa: Thanks for sharing your journey, including the ongoing pain of Jim’s loss. This site and your commitment is a living testament to Jim’s memory….Carry

  3. Christa,

    Thank you for this incredible site and the encouragement you share.

    I have experienced much loss in the last several years… my father passing, my husband passing, a loss of a job…

    But each experience (tho’ I didn’t think so at the time) has led me to grow and reach places I didn’t think I’d ever be.

    LIFE is SHORT. Enjoy it each and every moment.

    Keep up the good work.

  4. Thanks for stopping by Cathy. I am sorry you’ve experienced so much loss in such a short period of time.

    I commend you for your attitude – the losses, each ones, provides an opportunity to grow, to learn and to experience.

    Life is short and we have the choice to count our blessings and giggle on OR get stuck in what I call the “pit of suck” and wallow in our own pain endlessly.

    Change is part of life but our resistance to change is what really whacks us in the head.

    I’ll keep up the good work if you promise to keep stoppin’ by! :-)

  5. I lost my 27 years old son in a car accident February 17, 2010. As devastating as it is to lose a child, my faith has brought me through. I run 2 on line support groups for bereaved parents. I am writing a book on grief recovery, went back to school to obtain my grief counceling license and am about to begin physical groups in my area. The name of my organization is My Child Has Wings. WE can be found on facebook and on line at and If you are a bereaved parent, I am personally inviting you to join us as we walk this journey together. Much Love

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